So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
it's like iHOP with fire
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
