Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
