OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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