I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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