i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
