I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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