New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize