hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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