i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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