Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
