yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
