It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
