Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
