Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
