im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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