I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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