sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize