Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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