my sisters under your porch take her home
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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