Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
