Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
