his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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