Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
