wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
