i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
