he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
