pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
