how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
