she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
