i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Ladies don't puke and tell
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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