Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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