Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
