ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
