i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
