She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
