do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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