If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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