it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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