So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I need a burrito and a hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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