If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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