Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I lost the right to judge tonight
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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