Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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