I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
