corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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