does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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