you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
