If that was your dad, he is hot
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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