Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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