So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize