I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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