if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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