bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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