watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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