end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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