9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
