I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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