So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
